My dearest TTC sisters,
…to my fellow (still in the battle) TTC sisters,
I write this letter not because I’m the strongest or wisest person. My husband and I have been on this battle for four years. After trying natural procedure, IUI, and other treatments, we finally decided to try IVF procedure this year. Currently, we’re waiting to do the FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) phase.
I had been fighting the question and emotional break down during the journey. There’re times I questioned why there was no answer to our pray, the delay to our request felt way too long. Another time, I wonder if we’re on the wrong track, we should do that not this, or maybe we did a mistake that hold Him to work on His plan to be happened. Hence, I’ve learned (from many sources) that there’s one important foundation, when God have a plan, there’s nothing on earth or heaven can stop Him. I believe He have plan for us to bear our own children. Period.
Still, I cried, many times but when the tears dried, I learn to speak gratitude. I am still afraid of the needle, but my gut told me to do the best, so I got my daily injection by myself, no drama. The journey also taught me to be selfless (especially facing insensitive questions/statements from people around me) and refocus the energy to what’s really important.
Yesterday, I asked God if the bad news is the result, He will strengthening my heart because I am just as weak as many of you when facing this kind of situation. Despite life’s journey had taught me to be strong and independent person, still I will be tremble in despair if we fail. I am just a human. That’s why I need to surrender to Him, the Almighty, the Owner of my life and Creator of my life story.
Oh, please, have us on your pray and thought. Your kind acts, though from far away, will always have its own way to cross our path. Few days ago, I got info that my doctor was still on leave whilst I was scheduled to meet him on (exactly) my second day of period. So, I was referred to meet another Obgyn. This new arrangement bothered me. However, I had this urge feeling to check one blog then I found the doctor’s name! She’s my doctor’s wife. It gave a big assurance to my emotion. In fact, she’s one of the nicest and gentlest doctor I’ve ever met. That blog was written few years ago but the impact still resonates until now. That’s one of kind acts I found from stranger TTC sisters.
And yes, I pray for you all too.
… to the one who has reached the finish line, the two red lines,
Sometimes, God show His humorous side that we may not understand. He let us going through those teary phases (with needles, medicine, certain dietary, etc) then one day He grant us the wish we had begged for million super moon. A tinny little joy inside the so long empty womb. It’s exciting but maybe also terrifying as the finish line is actually the start line for new journey.
You may feel guilty to share the good news with us. You wonder if good news is really good news for everyone. Remember this, you are someone that we can look up to when the battle feels too hard to going through. You are the living proof that what we are fighting for right now will bear a wonderful result, someday. So, celebrate the joy with us!
Congratulations, sist! May you feel our warmest hugs sending from far far far away.
So, my stranger sisters, wherever and whoever you are, the journey is a gift. We learned how precious these tiny little creatures way long before they come. Let’s hope that we will be (are being) a great mother for them.
Love, your sister